Nuts and Bolts of Creating a Budget That Works

Are you ready to start building a budget that works and you actually love? Learn the nuts and bolts on how to quickly and easily make a flexible family budget!

How to Create a Fun and Flexible Budget That Actually Works for You

Last week I mentioned that one report found 73% of millennials are living paycheck to paycheck. When you’re in that situation you can be an added weight on shoulders because if one thing goes wrong – and it will- it can make a mess of your finances.

For this week, I want to go from the big picture view we took on the potentials with budgets and get into the nuts and bolts. How do you build a budget?

Understanding how to create a budget is essential for financial stability and achieving your goals.

Which is why I’m happy to have Warren Murray on the show today. Warren works Financial Well Being Manager over at Coastal Credit Union where he and his team help members live better by managing their money more efficiently.

In this episode we’ll get into:

  • why having a financial snapshot your finances is important and how to do it
  • how building your budget around financial wellness is more efficient and sustainable
  • creative ways to include fun into your budget while still working towards your financial goals

Hope you enjoy!

Resources to Build Better Budgets

If you’re looking to start or revamp your budget and learn how to create a budget so you can reach your family and financial goals faster, check out some of these resources below!

If you’d like to chat more your money system, please join us in our private and free Facebook group – Thriving Families. It’s a group Andy, Andrew from Family Money Plan, and myself run as a team.

We’re families looking to support and help one another out.

Hope to see you there!

Thank You to Our Sponsor Coastal!

Support for this podcast comes from Coastal Credit Union! Come check out Coastal today if you’re living in the Raleigh Durham area and looking to bank better.

As a credit union, Coastal serves its members first and foremost including an annual loyalty bonus.

We've been members for years and love their service and competitive rates on checking and savings accounts!

Building a Budget That Works for You

Elle: Warren, thank you so much for joining me. I'm thrilled to have you on because we're talking about a topic that's near and dear to my heart, but I think people have a lot of fears and they believe a lot of myths, and that's budgets.

I wanted to talk to you, Warren, because of the work you do at Coastal about how you can budget for real life versus you see those crazy budgets that like no one wants to keep and do so I appreciate you making the time to chat with me.

Warren: Not a problem. Elle, thank you very much for having me. I look forward to educating your listeners on how easy it's to budget and how important it's to budget.

Financial Wellness: More Than Just Making Money

Elle Martinez: I noticed the work you do, it's falls under financial wellness, which for some people that's a new concept, do you mind kind of getting into that work that you do and what financial wellness means to you?

Warren Murray: So Elle there's this misconception out there when people talk about financial wellbeing or financial wellness, the first thing they want to think of is about how much money that you make.

Oh, if you make this much money, then you must be financially healthy. And what I bring to the forefront in letting our members know and other people know is that, Financial wellbeing, it has nothing to do with how much money you make, is realizing how much money you have coming in versus how much money you're going out.

Basically, we try to take the approach of helping people utilize their money more efficiently matter if you're making hundred thousand or $200,000 a year. Or if you're only making $50,000 a year, a lot of people can use their utilize their money more efficiently, and that's what we try to bring to the forefront.

Helping people or partnering with people. That's the word that I like to use with the people that I work with, is that we're gonna partner together to help them utilize their money more efficiently and also make them aware of what their financial habits are. Oftentimes when people hear the word habits, they associate habits with exercise habits or smoking habits, but we also have financial habits.

Some people have good financial habits. Some people have areas that they can improve in their financial habits, so that's one of the things that we work on with this financial wellbeing program.

How to Utilize Your Money More Efficiently

Elle Martinez: That's fantastic because I really do think that even before you make a budget, you have to have that foundation, which is defining your priorities, your values, what's important to you, and then of course the reality of where you are now.

And I love that you're talking about being efficient with your money, making your money work as hard as you do, because especially here in the triangle area, things are increasing. Every time I turn on the news, I see prices, not just at the grocery store, but housing. You have to be savvy with your money and making sure that it's really being effectively used towards your goals.

You have a unique perspective working with so many people, families in our community with their finances. Are there any Misconceptions or one of those mistakes that keep coming up that you see people make that you would love for them to avoid?

Warren Murray: The first thing that comes to their forefront and in general is that oftentimes when we're talking to people and you ask them how much money they make they can tell you within two to 3 cents, ‘my paycheck is such and such with 23 cents, and on the other week, it's such and such with 24 cents', which is good.

People need to be aware of what they make. But when we ask people how much money do they spend specifically in certain categories, the answer oftentimes comes back ‘a lot'.

Like, well, how much money do you spend eating out? ‘A lot.'

How much money do you spend drinking your Starbucks a month? ‘A lot.'

Although a lot can mean a lot of different things, but from a mathematical standpoint, I can't subtract how much money you make each month minus a lot.

What I try to focus on is just making people aware of what they have coming in, but most importantly, what they have going out.

Oftentimes Elle when we're doing our counseling sessions with our members what people think they spend and what they actually spend are two separate numbers, especially when it comes to the categories of eating out and also streaming services.

Those are the two things that I see that people could drastically improve on.

Elle Martinez: Yeah, absolutely. And one of the good things I love about Raleigh is also one of the things you have to watch out for is there are some incredible, food places out there. We always have some festivals going on and you do, you wanna make room in your budget for fun and to enjoy it, but it is very easy.

This has happened to us before, I kind of call them money leaks where. It's a little bit of spending here. You've planned for this spending, and then these little ones, $20 here, $20 here. It adds up really quick. So I love that.

The Importance of Prioritizing Financial Habits for a Sustainable Budget

Elle Martinez: Getting a financial snapshot, an accurate one of what's going in and what's coming out so when making a budget, , you have the numbers in front of you. What are some of the conversations you're having with those that you're counseling to create that budget?

Warren Murray: The first thing, Elle in common sense approach is that if we have a person who has $8,000 coming in a month and they have $8,400 going out on one. You don't have to be a mathematician to realize that if you're spending more than you're making that's a problem.

Whether you see the problem right now or in the future, there's gonna be a problem. So that's the first thing we wanna make people aware, like, okay, how much wiggle room do we have?

Or is there any wiggle room whatsoever? So that's the first thing why we start with. What's your make versus how much you have that's going out.

The second thing that so many people have misconceptions about when it comes to budgeting I hear oftentimes, oh, well, I'm gonna stop eating out completely or I'm gonna give up my Starbucks completely.

I tell people, budgeting is not that. Basically everything in moderation. So what we try to look at when we're evaluating their budget is like, Hey, If you're spending $300 a month or you're spending $400 a month eating out, Hey, can we curtail that a little bit? Can we, instead of spending $400 a month, let's see if we can drop it down to $250 a month.

With that $250 a month, we empower people to make the decision like, Hey, if that means that you and your family are gonna go one extravagant dinner a month, you do that.

Or if you're gonna say, all right. If we have $200 a month, we can spend $50 a week. We can do that. But again, we just wanna make sure that you have everything in a budget or you are aware of how much money that you have to spend so that way you can make best decision.

Have member, she loved her Starbucks coffee. I tell people like, I'm not a coffee drinker myself, but when you go to Starbucks and a mocha latte here today, before we know it, we were evaluating and this person was spending almost $300 a month just at Starbucks and coffee alone.

I was like, Hey, if you're a coffee drinker, there's nothing wrong with that. But instead of spending $300 a month, you think we could curtail that back to $200 a month or can we curtail that back to 1 75 a month? So again, having people getting a plan. Mm-hmm. And one of the things I wanna emphasize here is that again, we partner with the members.

I can't tell you what to spend your money on, but what I try to do is like work with them. Like, okay, this is what your budget has or this is what your budget allows. You tell me what you wanna do with these funds. Yeah,

Elle Martinez: Absolutely. I love that. Like you said, partnering up and giving them that control cause I think when done right, a budget can give you so much control over your money.

When we were first married, we were in debt and I felt like it was a lot of reaction, you know, after the fact trying to get the finances in a good spot. But when you budget, it does empower you.

I think you've hit a couple really good points. It's not necessarily the expense, like if there's a measure of joy that you get going to Starbucks. Maybe that's your time to kind of relax and settle, then that's great, you know, you get value for that. But look at other places where maybe you're not getting as much value and, and own it. Like, this is what I want and why.

There's always a way to get creative. I believe, where you can have fun and you can still save a little bit of money. So I love that point.

I also love what you pointed out of just taking the time to prioritize. So, you know, yes, we have to pay the bills. I think we all have to acknowledge that, but we have to set something aside. We also have to enjoy.

I believe that a, a sustainable budget is a successful budget. Same reason why diets fail. If it's too strict, if it's too unrealistic for your situation, you're not gonna keep it.

You have a lot of great points with that. What tips do you have about creating that flexible budget where they aren't like cutting it to the bone, they don't have to be perfect every month. How do you build that kind of wiggle room in the budget?

Warren Murray: Basically when we're evaluating their budget, the first thing that I use is, is tell people that we have to be cognizant of what's happening right now. And you and I had talked earlier in terms of a lot of people are dealing with inflation. I mean like gas has gone up. The cost of groceries going up so it's always a need to reevaluate the budget that you have.

In terms of reevaluating that budget, just making sure that people are aware that you're staying in the confines of what you one of the things I point on is streaming services. I've had so many people tell me, oh, Warren, Cut. I've cut my cable.

I'm saving money that I'm saving $150 a month because I cut my cable. Well, when I evaluate their budgets, oftentimes people get a streaming services. They have Hulu, they have Amazon Prom, they have Disney, they have Netflix.

One of the things I tell people when, when you're evaluating is oftentimes when you have a streaming service, you get that subscription and because it's automatically debited on your account mm-hmm. You don't look at it again.

People aren't aware that what you paid for Hulu two years ago or what you're playing, what you paid for Netflix two years ago has gone up drastically. So I wanna make people aware, like, hey, when we're evaluating their budgets, You were okay paying $10 a month for Netflix. Are you still getting that same bang for your book now that Netflix is at 18 or $19? Or who, or you have seven streaming services? Are you watching all those channels? So again, just bringing the evaluation.

Now, when you said in terms of like, What changes do we make? Sometimes the things that are that, that you have no control over causes you to make changes.

Right? Now you've had several people that if they're renting at an apartment, their apartment rent has gone up 200 to $300. They're still in the same apartment, but because they're landlord has increased the rent just due to inflation. Now we need to take a look at your budget. Like, all right, before we had some wiggle room, now we have to allot for that two to $300 elsewhere.

Or when it comes to groceries, we like, ‘all right your grocery budget was $500 for no fall of your own. You're buying the same things and now your grocery bill is 600 or $650 a month'. Now that we know that what we're working with, where can we take from to make sure that we can keep you afloat in regard to that?

Elle Martinez: Absolutely. Oh, these are such great points and tips and yeah, this is the reality. We're based here in Raleigh, North Carolina, but a lot of people are dealing with inflation and then a lot of cities that have high growth. The trade-off is they're also seeing costs like housing increase drastically.

So definitely don't wait to see that go up, see if you can get proactive with your budget and start prioritizing where you're getting that value.

You mentioned streaming. I have a streaming service. I'm not gonna mention and I like it, but they recently did a merger and I just got the email while I was on vacation.

That's starting next month. It's gonna ‘be better', but it's gonna have a lot more services I don't need. And I was talking with my husband about that. I gotta set up to cancel. So when we done with this call, that's what I'm gonna do.

Warren Murray: Thank you. Yeah. I just wish we had more people. And again, I tell people, if you enjoy whatever you enjoy, like you said mm-hmm. That adds value to your life that you should do. But as long as you are aware, and oftentimes the people that I'm working with, they're not aware. They're like, oh, well I didn't know that I had $190. In streaming services.

I cut my cable cause I thought I was saving money, but now that 50 I was spending via cable, now I'm spending hundred 80. So again, my task, what I wanna make people is aware, like once you aware you can make the best decision for you and your family.

Elle Martinez: Absolutely. Yeah. And it's not necessarily what that expense is, but like you mentioned, like, are you getting the value?

And when the price increases, then that's, you gotta reassess that. I think that's the reality now nowadays with 2023 is when we're looking at the expenses, am I getting a value out of it? And then second, if the increase is there, if I wanna keep it, where do I trade that off?

A budget should be reviewed. I know personally we like to do like a money day, I would say like a monthly rhythm. See what's coming up. Are we going on vacation? Like when we went on vacation, the month before, we said, oh, okay, we're gonna eat at home more because when we go down to Florida, that's when I want to eat out and enjoy the, all the mom and pop spots and, and so forth.

It's finding that balance and, and putting your money where it matters most to you. Warren, you gave a lot of great tips. Is there any more that we, we forgot to mention or talk about?

Paying Yourself First: Starting Small for a Strong Financial Future

Warren Murray: Again, one of the things that I, I think when it comes to budgeting, people are so focused on paying down debt, or they're so focused on just being able to pay their bills that they neglect.

One of the things that I think is most important, which is paying yourself first. One of the things that we really focus on is like, hey, regardless if you can only pay yourself $10 every paycheck, or if you can pay yourself a hundred dollars every paycheck, the importance of paying yourself, those are funds that you're putting to the side.

Because we all know that life deals us. So many obstacles because when people focus on dis paying their bills and paying down their debt, which are good things, mm-hmm. But they neglect paying themselves.

What happens is, is that six months down the road, or 12 months down the road, or 18 months down the road, life happens to us and all of a sudden you have car repairs or your AC unit goes out.

Because you put all your focus on paying down that credit card bill and you haven't paid yourself. Guess what? That cycle starts back again.

All that work that you put toward paying down that credit card bills, because you haven't paid yourself, you don't have any wiggle room, now you have to put that expense back on the credit card.

What we do when we look at budgeting is like, Hey, we wanna pay your bills, but we also want to allot funds to the side for life. Like, Hey, like you mentioned, going on vacation, everybody knows that they typically try to take a vacation every, every year or every other year. So let's put money aside to work on that.

If that means we have to eat out less. $50 a month to eat out, less, to put those funds to the side for vacation. Let's do that. That's the one thing we try to focus on all of our members, and I tell people sometimes it's only $20, but the sense of pride that my members that I worked with when they realized like, wow, I never had any emergency funds, and now, although I may only have $250, that that sense of relief, like, Hey, I do know now if something unexpected that were to happen, as long as it's less than two $50, I can cover it without the credit card or without.

Knowing where I'm gonna get those funds from. That's one of the things or aspects that we take for people that I want them to be aware of, is like, Hey, it's okay to pay down debt.

It's okay to make sure that we have our bills paid, but we also want to make sure that we are also paying ourselves for one life deals us on unsuspected circumstances.

Elle Martinez: Yeah. If the past three years have taught us anything, it can happen. It can be much longer than we expect. Yeah, and it does.

There's of course the financial aspect, but there's a peace of mind knowing that at least I have X amount should something come up.

If you're a parent like us kids, unexpected expenses come up, school asks for money for field trips or whatever it is those are things to be prepared for.

You mentioned like the automatic deductions for streaming. I'm also a big fan of automatic transfers into savings for yourself.

Paying yourself, treat it like a bill. I know when we first started it was just like you mentioned, it was, we were recent college grads, so let's just say the amount was very small, but it was the habit of savings that we developed that allowed us to get used to that.

As the paychecks increase and switch jobs, we were able to put more towards saving. And it really is a help. If you're listening, start where you are now and you can always build up. Don't wait for those perfect moments. Start now to get that financial cushion, growing.

Warren Murray: And Elle I would add one other thing and, what you just stated, and that's one of the, the quotes that we use that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

The reason that we use that quote so much to target what you were just talking about is oftentimes if people make budgeting mistakes, they carry the burdens of the past with them.

When we're partnering with our members, I tell them I don't have a magic wand to erase mistakes or things that we wish we could have done differently a year ago or five years ago, but what we can focus on, if you're willing to work with me, if you're willing to partner with me, hey, can't change that.

But starting today, and that's the thing that I, I wanna emphasize starting today. Like, hey, everybody can budget it. It's like, okay, starting today, doesn't matter what we did last week. We're gonna start today to get a better grasp of what our finances are and just make people aware and help people utilize , their money more efficiently.

Elle Martinez: Yeah, absolutely. I love that. A lot of us carry some embarrassment because maybe we don't know about finances or we didn't grow up with good financial role models.

Maybe we're not starting off at the place we wanna be at this time, but you can always make better choices for the future and start showing especially as parents. Show your kids, Hey, I made some mistakes now, but I'm gonna build my finances for the family.

That's a lesson that they can take away and start building their own financial habits in a positive sense.

Warren Murray: That's why I'm so proud to be a employee of Coastal Credit Union is that we don't care about how much money you make. Our purpose is to help our members bank better, to live better and it gives me so much joy when we can help a member improve their financial situation.

That's what we're really focused on. We're really focusing our members, helping our members utilize their money more efficiently, but importantly, helping our members better to live better.

Support the Podcast!

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and found it helpful, here are some ways to support it.

  • Spread the word! If you enjoyed this episode and think it can help a buddy get on the path to dumping debt and become financially free, please share.
  • Join our coffee group ☕: Get access to exclusive behind the scenes videos, chats, and more!
  • Leave a review. Honest feedback and reviews make a big difference and gets the word out about the podcast. Leave your review on Apple or Stitcher.
  • Grab a copy of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money. My book is designed for a busy couple to set up their finances in four weeks. Get tips and tools that have worked for other couples on their journey of building their marriage and wealth together!

Photo by Karolina Grabowska

Creating a Fun and Flexible Family Budget

Budgets don't have to feel like deprivation. Learn how to create a flexible family budget that fits in what you love while hitting your financial goals!

Why Your Family Needs a Flexible Budget

Raise your hand if the first time you made your budget it was exactly what you needed and was a perfect for your situation.

Yeah, I don’t personally know anyone who got their budget right the first try and there’s a few reasons for that.

Chances are what you put down on paper doesn’t match real life. Either you have a money leak you’re not aware of or like what you just heard in the teaser, you get thrown for a loop.

It’s enough to make you just want to trash the ideas of budgeting, but that would be a mistake.

Right now more families are living paycheck to paycheck.

I was reading a recent report from Lending Tree which highlighted overall 60% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Millennials, though, seem to be in worse shape as that number jumps to 73%.

That can be pretty scary. One hiccup or an emergency can totally throw off your finances.

If you ready to break the cycle then please listen in. Personal finance author and podcaster Allison Baggerly from Inspired Budget is not just sharing her story, but some fantastic tips on how to create a flexible budget that works for your family's unique needs and circumstances.

In this episode we’ll get into:

  • how shifting her mindset about budgets transformed her finances and life
  • why having a flexible budget is key to long-term success and financial stability
  • practical tips on how to get started if you hate budgets

We have a lot to cover, so let’s get started!

Resources to Build Better Budgets

If you’re looking to start or revamp your budget so you can reach your family and financial goals faster, check out some of these resources below!

If you’d like to chat more your money system, please join us in our private and free Facebook group – Thriving Families. It’s a group Andy, Andrew from Family Money Plan, and myself run as a team.

We’re families looking to support and help one another out.

Hope to see you there!

Thank You to Our Sponsor Coastal!

Support for this podcast comes from Coastal Credit Union! Come check out Coastal today if you’re living in the Raleigh Durham area and looking to bank better.

As a credit union, Coastal serves its members first and foremost including an annual loyalty bonus.

We've been members for years and love their service and competitive rates on checking and savings accounts!

Support the Podcast!

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and found it helpful, here are some ways to support it.

  • Spread the word! If you enjoyed this episode and think it can help a buddy get on the path to dumping debt and become financially free, please share.
  • Join our coffee group ☕: Get access to exclusive behind the scenes videos, chats, and more!
  • Leave a review. Honest feedback and reviews make a big difference and gets the word out about the podcast. Leave your review on Apple or Stitcher.
  • Grab a copy of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money. My book is designed for a busy couple to set up their finances in four weeks. Get tips and tools that have worked for other couples on their journey of building their marriage and wealth together!

Listener Mailbag: Cheap Ways to Travel, Saving Money on Groceries, and Real Estate

We’ve brought back the listener's mailbag. Today we’re answering your family and finance questions about keep your grocery bills manageable, deciding on how to travel with kids, and getting started with real estate!

Listener Mailbag: Spring 2023

One of my favorite parts of creating Simplify and Enjoy is the community.

While I’m happy to share our journey as a family, it’s fun when you chime in with your wins, stories, and questions.

Today we’re going to be diving into your family and finance questions.

First, we’ll look at how to save money on your grocery bill.

Next, we’ll talk about how to adjust or if needed, revamp your budget. There’s still plenty of time to have some big wins with your family and financial goals.

Finally, we’re following up from last week’s episode about different options in real estate. There are so many different paths.

Which is why I’m so glad to share a fun and informative conversation I had with Stacking Deeds Podcast Hosts Crystal Hammond and Alan Corey. We get into their own journeys and they have advice on what to consider if you’d like to get started with real estate investing.

We have plenty to cover, so let’s get started!

Resources to Stay on Top of Your Money

If you’re ready to jump into the year and knock out some of your health and wealth goals, here are a few of my favorite resources and includes what we covered in the podcast.

If you’d like to chat more your money system, please join us in our private and free Facebook group – Thriving Families.

We’re families looking to support and help one another out.

Hope to see you there!

Thank You to Our Sponsor Coastal!

Support for this podcast comes from Coastal Credit Union! Come check out Coastal today if you’re living in the Raleigh Durham area and looking to bank better.

As a credit union, Coastal serves its members first and foremost including an annual loyalty bonus.

We've been members for years and love their service and competitive rates on checking and savings accounts!

Support the Podcast!

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and found it helpful, here are some ways to support it.

  • Spread the word! If you enjoyed this episode and think it can help a buddy get on the path to dumping debt and become financially free, please share.
  • Join our coffee group ☕: Get access to exclusive behind the scenes videos, chats, and more!
  • Leave a review. Honest feedback and reviews make a big difference and gets the word out about the podcast. Leave your review on Apple or Stitcher.
  • Grab a copy of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money. My book is designed for a busy couple to set up their finances in four weeks. Get tips and tools that have worked for other couples on their journey of building their marriage and wealth together!

Exploring Your Investing Options in Real Estate

Are you interested in getting started in real estate investing but don't know where to begin? We’ll uncover some opportunities and niches out there that could be a good fit for you!

Adventures in Real Estate Investing

In our community we have families at different points in their financial journeys.

This year we have some who are focused on knocking out debts that have been weighing them down.

We also have families who building up their financial cushion or saving up for a huge goal including starting a family, maybe starting a business, or buying a house.

Then some, including us are in the CoastFI phase of things. That foundation is in place and we’re considering options that can give us more flexibility with our schedule while still producing income.

Real estate investing can be a great way to be a solid path towards that and financial freedom. By investing in a property, you can generate passive income through rent.

However there’s more to it than what you see on HGTV, Magnolia, or those real estate flip channels on YouTube.

Buying property takes money and finding good tenants and contractors takes time. You may also worry about being trapped with a money pit.

Which is why I’m happy to have Rachel Hernandez on the show. Rachel is an award-winning mobile home investor with over ten years of experience and author of several books about real estate including Adventures in Mobile Homes.

In this episode we’ll get into:

  • her journey into real estate investing and what made her choose to hone in with investing in mobile home
  • different options out there besides flipping and buying holding property
  • an honest look at the good and the bad with real estate so you have a clearer idea of what to expect

Hope you enjoy!

Resources to Stay on Top of Your Money

If you’re ready to achieve your family and financial goals and want to explore real estate, here are a few of my favorite resources, including what we covered in the podcast.

If you’d like to chat more your money system, please join us in our private and free Facebook group – Thriving Families.

We’re families looking to support and help one another out.

Hope to see you there!

Thank You to Our Sponsor Coastal!

Support for this podcast comes from Coastal Credit Union! Come check out Coastal today if you’re living in the Raleigh Durham area and looking to bank better.

As a credit union, Coastal serves its members first and foremost including an annual loyalty bonus.

We've been members for years and love their service and competitive rates on checking and savings accounts!

Exploring Options in Real Estate

In our discussion, Rachel discusses her experience with real estate investing, including her motivation for getting started and her transition to mobile home investing.

She emphasizes the importance of taking action and gaining experience, as well as finding a niche within the industry.

Rachel also offers advice for those interested in real estate investing and provides resources for learning more about mobile home investing.

Read the transcript below (edited for time and clarity) or watch our chat on YouTube!

Elle Martinez: You are seasoned with real estate investing. That's something my husband and I are in the early stages of talking about. We are thinking of having some cash flow for this next stage of financial freedom.

There's so many different ways to invest. We've done like index fund investing, which is really popular. But for you, what was your motivation getting started with real estate investing? What was that pull?

Rachel Hernandez: For you?

Sure. For me personally, I will make a disclaimer.

I hated viewing homes as a kid. I was with the family that moved every five to seven years because my mom wanted a bigger and better home, so we were in that rat race.

My parents were both professionals and so basically it's very surprising that I got into real estate because I hated riding in the car with the realtor, looking at homes as a kid every five to seven years.

Obviously as a kid you don't have any say. It's the parents deciding and I moved from so many different schools. I think that's why one of the reasons why I'm so outgoing, because I just had to make friends on my own because I'd be moving every five to seven years.

I will tell you, I was influenced by the book Rich Dad, poor Dad by Robert Kiosaki. You've probably heard about that, but what actually sparked my interest in real estate was the concept of passive income in that book.

I always knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur. As a kid, I did the lemonade stand, puppet show. Going into college as a young adult, I was supposed to be studying for my classes I was a humanities major, but on the side I had a resume business.

I got paid actually by my university to take notes, right? For classes. So I always had all these side hustles, you know?

Once I got influenced by that book, rich Dad, poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki then the light bulb kind of set off, ‘oh, there's actually income that you can make passively and it doesn't require work from you to do it.'

I learned the difference between active income, which depends on you working at a job, you know, you get paid a certain amount to work that job. There's also this concept of passive income and it's more on the investing side.

You make your money work for you so that you don't have to work so hard. That's how I got into real estate investing.

I was a business to business corporate account executive, so I had the sales experience.

While I was learning, I actually started finding deals for other real estate investors. What I do, I'd go to my local real estate investor club and I'd meet these real estate investors who just didn't have the time to go out there and find these deal. They'd give me their criteria.

I did something called bird dogging, which is like, you go out and you find these deals, you get all the information, and then you bring the deal to the investor and then they talk things out with the seller, try to negotiate you to deal. If they do, then I get paid for that lead.

I did that for a while, and then after that I went into wholesaling, basically taking it one step further, getting all the information, but then putting it under contract and then assigning my interest in the deal to the investor buyer, like the end buyer, and then I get paid for that.

I did that for a while to build up cash. Eventually I started building up enough cash to buy and hold properties as a single family home landlord. I did that for a while. I built up our portfolio and I got burned out from that because every month. Guess who the first person who got paid? Was a mortgage company.

I was like, ‘why is all my cash flow going to the mortgage company or h o a or the insurance company, you know?'

I was the one that was paid last. , I'm like, ah, that doesn't sound right.' Yes. You know, where's all the, the, the, the passive income and cash flow that I was reading about.

Then I decide to, you know what? I'm just gonna sell my entire single family home portfolio. Wow. Which sounds crazy. Cashed out at a great time and then use that money to actually get into mobile home investing, which is what I do now.

I buy mobile homes for cash without a mortgage and then if I decide to rent it or sell it on payments and all that cash flow comes to me.

So that's pretty much what I do in

Elle Martinez: a nutshell. Yeah.

I love how you had this plan and you build up, I think. . I don't wanna say it's a myth, but to a degree a lot of entrepreneurs are put in this bucket where they're risk takers, they're doing this but then when I talk to entrepreneurs like you who've been doing this for years, there's like a calculated risk. There's some kind of numbers and analysis as you jump in.

And I didn't know about the different roles in real estate that you were just mentioning. I feel like I'm gonna have to put in the show notes of this dictionary for real estate.

Rachel Hernandez: Yeah, that'd be a good idea.

Elle Martinez: Yeah. But as you mentioned, there's different ways even to invest in real estate. Single family homes is what people imagine. They see H G T V, and these channels and think, oh yeah, this would be great. What made you pivot into mobile home investing?

Rachel Hernandez: Pretty much the mortgage company getting paid first. When I got that rent check. That money, a large portion of it went to the mortgage company, then the h o A association, then the insurance taxes, and then whatever was left over that's pretty much what I had.

To tell you the truth, I made more money wholesaling than I had with these cash flow properties in single family homes.

Oh, ok.

Yeah. Pretty much my first deal as a wholesaler, I made a whole year's salary. Which is crazy. Wow. Looking at that, I just kind of got burnt out and I even brought property managers to manage these properties for me, but they got their fee and I had to manage the managers so,

Yeah, it was crazy and I can't do this. And you hear all of these stories from these burnt out landlords, and I will tell you, it's true. It can be a nightmare, you know? So now, as a mobile home investor, I've learned how to balance that, but not having that mortgage and buying these mobile homes for cash, actually puts less strain on me financially.

When I have to evict a tenant, money's not coming in because this tenant's not paying. There are issues, with the home. I gotta do repairs.

It just kind of lessens the burden on me. I just can't imagine some of these real estate investors in California who have these crazy large mortgages on their home. You miss one payment. I mean, that's a whole paycheck to some people, you know?

Yeah. If you have to fill the home and it's empty and you don't have it filled with a tenant, so it's crazy. . Yeah.

Elle Martinez: Okay. So there's a couple things I'm trying to like order my questions . Sure. Cause we had a lot of good ones there.

First of all, let's talk about like buying a home because I know many are familiar. They bought their home that they're living in. Is there a different process or mindset when you go in and you're buying an investment for you, your process with that?

Rachel Hernandez: Yeah, absolutely. As a first time homeowner, if you're buying a home for yourself, it's completely different than buying an investment because as an investment, you are looking at how can this make me money?

To me, an investment is more of an asset because it puts money in your pocket. Whereas I know a lot of people are not gonna want to hear this. Your home is a liability. Because it's taking money out of your pocket.

Now we always hear, from the banks, like, no, your home is an asset. To me, it's not an asset. I learned this from Robert Kiosaki in his books. It's actually a liability because it's taking money out of your pocket. You gotta think about that.

When you're buying a home for yourself, you're looking at the home, you're looking at the location. Mm-hmm. , you're looking at, can I actually live here?

But you're not looking at it from an investment perspective. How can I make money off of this home unless you do that, but that's different philosophy. My own philosophy your home is not in an investment because it's just a place to live.

Whether you buy a home or you rent a home, it's both a place to live versus an investment.

You're figuring out, you've gotta have this extra strategy. How's this gonna make me money? Either I'm going to sell it to a retail buyer and fix it up. I'm gonna sell it to an investor, like what I did wholesaling or am I just gonna rent it out and become a landlord? So that is your exit strategy as an investor.

As an investor, you're thinking how generate a profit so you're looking at it from a business perspective versus buying your own home. It's just for you, but you're not looking at it as a business perspective. That's just my thoughts.

Elle Martinez: Gotcha. Yeah, I, I think it does take a mindset shift when you're looking at that. I was talking to some others about what they had noticed as a difference was when it's your home, even though you might do your own repairs and it's a fixer upper.

You're still like looking for I need this layout. It's you, you, you. But like you mentioned, you really, I mean, this is a business so you. Is this a place that functions for whoever I'm trying to rent out to? Is this gonna be feasible?

You mentioned, the realities. Again, I love that you're being transparent. You got good tenants, they pay, this is great. Things are flowing. And then you have bad tenant tenants.

I know there's no way to completely avoid bad tenants but for you through the years, what are like some processes or filters you put in place to make sure that you find first of all, like a good investment and then second, finding those tenants?

Rachel Hernandez: Yeah. The good investment it comes with experience. Honestly, what I can say to everyone listening on this podcast, there's only so much you can learn your education.

I do believe in education, reading books, listening to podcasts, watching videos, you know, in this case real estate investing, but there's gonna be a point where you actually have to take action and that is where you learn the most.

What I love about real estate is like you don't have to be the smartest person in the room. You don't have to have a lot of money. You don't have to have a PhD in real estate to do this.

It actually levels the playing field. So what you get from taking action is experience, and that experience is where you learn the most. From that, you obtain knowledge, what gives you confidence to do more deals and get out there. It really is having the courage to get out there and take action.

And I will be honest, I mean, I've been rejected a lot by a lot of sellers on the buying end. Like, no, I'm not gonna sell you this, but you just kind of have to brush it off. It's part of the business. If someone doesn't have that personality to be confrontational. They can always bring in a partner or work with someone.

Like what I did as a wholesaler. I have the experience because I was in sales. So I can take rejection, pretty much. On that end you just have to have the courage.

The only way people are gonna get that is by taking action and by taking action, you get to learn the market, you get to network, and you just get better.

There is no, educational university for real estate, despite what other people think with all these real estate gurus. You just gotta get out there and learn your market, figure out what you wanna do, and then just, keep learning as you go. I know that's very vague, but it's actually worked for me.

Elle Martinez: I understand. As an investor, are there some wins that you're super proud of or some hard, learned lessons that you picked up through your years of investing?

Rachel Hernandez: Sure. Probably my win that is the most memorable is my first mobile home deal. Yeah. And basically this deal came from, of all things, a flyer, I physically passed out in a mobile home park cuz I buy these homes in the parks most times.

This family called me, there was no for sale by owner sign on the home. Mm-hmm. , no one knew it was for sale, and the wife called me and said, ‘listen, we wanna move out of the park. We're looking to get into a regular home. Would you be interested in looking at our home and coming over to see if you would buy it?'

At that point I was like, ‘okay, sounds good.' And this was my first deal was completely new in mobile homes. I had the real estate investing experience in single family homes, but completely new to mobile homes.

Yeah.

I was like, okay, how much are you asking for the home? I mean, it's a natural question. And the wife paused and she said, ‘you know what? We don't wanna talk about that on the phone because we'd feel more comfortable if we kind of got to know you. And you came over for that.'

I was like, I've been told by many, many mentors and also these real estate groups spout out all day long. If they're not willing to give you a price, they're not a motivated seller.

Mm-hmm. I thought about that and I'll, but then I thought, you know, What have I got to lose? I haven't even done one mobile home deal if I passed this up. It could always be what if? What if? What if?

To make a long story short, I went over there. The reason why they didn't put a for sale by owner sign in their home is because they didn't want a bunch of people to go through the home and make it dirty, okay?

I went through the home. I negotiated. I got the home. It was, I believe it was a two bedroom, one bath. I think believe it was 1985, and I got that home for $3,600 cash. They even cleaned it. I filled that home in two weeks, sold it for 10,000, and with a nice starter family, they gave me a thousand dollars as a move-in fee, and then they paid me $250 a month for the next four and a half years.

Wow. So what did I learn from that lesson? You never know what's going through the seller's heads. So had I not gone over there and listened to what all these gurus are saying, or some MA mentors in the past, and they only tell me this because of their experience, but I could have a different personality than them.

You know? That's what I've learned. Then I may not be here on this podcast talking about mobile home investing. It may have never happened.

Elle Martinez: Wow. That's so fascinating. That's great that you were willing to take that risk. Again, it's like calculated risk. You had some experience already within real estate. I think that's fantastic.

For someone that is thinking about it, maybe it's on their radar getting started with real estate investing and they're also just curious about mobile home investing. How can people reach out to you?

Rachel Hernandez: Sure. Well, I do have a podcast. It's called Adventures and Mobile Homes. Really easy to remember and find on any podcast player.

I have a website, adventures in mobile homes.com. If anyone wants to learn about mobile home investing, I do offer a free class. If you are interested, check it out.

As for real estate investing, my advice is to pick a strategy and figure out where are you at this point in life.

Do you want to build up cash so that you can eventually buy and hold properties? Or can you buy properties now, but you want to have them for cash flow?

So do you wanna be a landlord? Or do you wanna be like, what I did BirdDog and a wholesaler, figure out what your strategy is. And I do have a book, it's called Real Estate Investing Sucks, how to Find Your Niche and Dominate.

Basically, from all my experience as a real estate investor, the most successful people are the ones that actually have a niche, and mine is mobile homes.

In terms of mobile home investing, my recommendation is to, pick a niche, stick with the niche and then learn it as much as you can.

It's funny cuz I did have a mentor when I first got started. She was local in my area. I met her at a real estate conference.

She had never done anything in real estate investing. She just picked mobile homes. She just read the, she just read up all the books on mobile homes started it. And she was a corporate executive too for a tech company. And we just had similar back.

She's like, you could teach me a lot because you have more experience than me.

I'm like, I have, I don't know anything about mobile homes. She's like, Rachel, it's not that different. You know, I was coming from single family homes. Yeah. That's one of the things I do and she just stuck with it all this time. That's all she did. She's done great for herself.

Basically stick with a niche. And if you wanna check out that book, I have a whole series of books. Real Estate Investing Sucks. Then if you are interested in learning about mobile home investing, I have a book, adventures and Mobile. How I got started in mobile home investing and how you can too as well too. So that's just my suggestions. And of course, listen to podcasts like this.

Support the Podcast!

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and found it helpful, here are some ways to support it.

  • Spread the word! If you enjoyed this episode and think it can help a buddy get on the path to dumping debt and become financially free, please share.
  • Join our coffee group ☕: Get access to exclusive behind the scenes videos, chats, and more!
  • Leave a review. Honest feedback and reviews make a big difference and gets the word out about the podcast. Leave your review on Apple or Stitcher.
  • Grab a copy of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money. My book is designed for a busy couple to set up their finances in four weeks. Get tips and tools that have worked for other couples on their journey of building their marriage and wealth together!

Photo by Mikhail Nilov

How to Design a Beautiful (and Low Maintenance) Garden

Do you want to start a garden this year, but are you've been bad with plants? Here are my best tips on how to design and grow an easy garden!

Learning to Grow a Garden

Before we get into gardening, I want to be upfront about something- I used to be the person who kept cacti around because it was the only plant I could keep alive.

It's true.

I am not someone who naturally has a green thumb. This is something that I had to build up from and learn.

Good news, though, is now I'm hunting through seed catalogs each season, picking out what we're going to grow. I enjoy seeing how much of our own food we can grow from the garden.

Obviously, this was not an overnight process, but surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as I thought.

A key part of me enjoying gardening is by starting off small and going with easy to grow plants. With some small, but powerful wins I was motivated to dive into this new hobby that I love.

The good news is if I can do it, you can do it.

If you are thinking of starting a garden, but you're worried about your skills or if it's gonna be a lot of work, I want to help you out.

I want you to have an incredible and awesome year of gardening without a ton of hassle. So in this episode, we're gonna get into how to design your garden so that it's productive. Yet easy to How to decide which plants to grow.

And some of my favorite garden tips to get you started on the right foot. We have a lot to cover. So let's get started!

In this episode, we’ll get into:

  • how to design your garden so that it’s productive yet easy to maintain
  • how to decide what to grow
  • some of my favorite garden tips to get you started on the right foot

Hope you enjoy!

Resources to Easily Jumpstart Your Garden

If you’re ready to start growing your garden, here are a few of my favorite resources and includes what we covered in the podcast.

If you’d like to chat more your family and financial goals, please join us in our private and free Facebook group – Thriving Families.

We’re families looking to support and help one another out.

Hope to see you there!

Thank You to Our Sponsor Coastal!

Support for this podcast comes from Coastal Credit Union! Come check out Coastal today if you’re living in the Raleigh Durham area and looking to bank better.

As a credit union, Coastal serves its members first and foremost including an annual loyalty bonus.

We've been members for years and love their service and competitive rates on checking and savings accounts!

Support the Podcast!

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and found it helpful, here are some ways to support it.

  • Spread the word! If you enjoyed this episode and think it can help a buddy get on the path to dumping debt and become financially free, please share.
  • Join our coffee group ☕: Get access to exclusive behind the scenes videos, chats, and more!
  • Leave a review. Honest feedback and reviews make a big difference and gets the word out about the podcast. Leave your review on Apple or Stitcher.
  • Grab a copy of Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money. My book is designed for a busy couple to set up their finances in four weeks. Get tips and tools that have worked for other couples on their journey of building their marriage and wealth together!

Photos by Huy Phan and cottonbro studio

Finding Work-Life Balance By Switching to Part-Time Work

Want to have more work-life balance in your life? Today we’ll explore how the principles of FI can help you make the transition to part-time work!

Finding Work-Life Balance as Parents

Work- life balance can be a struggle for parents, especially if your kids are young.

You wand to have this time with them, but you also have to take care of the essentials like bills. Or maybe you have a job you really enjoy, but it’s very demanding of your time. You want some flexibility so you can work, but still be there with your little ones.

What if you want to work, but just not the traditional full-time?

Our culture and the way office work is structure makes that difficult. Family first employers can be hard to find. It’s an all or nothing approach.

Part-time work is regulated to lower paying work, which may not be viable for families.

It’s almost easier to just have one stay home while the other works full-time.

If you want something different, in most cases, you have to carve out your own path.

We had to do that and so have other families.

Which is why I’m thrilled to have Marriage, Kids, and Money creator and my buddy Andy Hill on the show. Andy and his wife Nicole have carved out that path of family and work that’s flexible and allows them to work part-time and hang out with their kids.

In this episode we get into:

  • conversations you two need to have create a plan you’re both happy with
  • how to use principles from FI to build flexibility so you can switch to part-time work
  • key financial milestones to help prepare you for the transition

Hope you enjoy!

Resources to Pivot Your Career

If you’re ready to jump into the year and knock out some of your health and wealth goals, here are a few of my favorite resources and includes what we covered in the podcast.

If you’d like to chat more your money system, please join us in our private and free Facebook group – Thriving Families. It’s a group Andy, Andrew from Family Money Plan, and myself run as a team.

We’re families looking to support and help one another out.

Hope to see you there!

Thank You to Our Sponsor Coastal!

Support for this podcast comes from Coastal Credit Union! Come check out Coastal today if you’re living in the Raleigh Durham area and looking to bank better.

As a credit union, Coastal serves its members first and foremost including an annual loyalty bonus.

We've been members for years and love their service and competitive rates on checking and savings accounts!

Switching to Part Time Work with Andy Hill

Elle Martinez: I think this is a great conversation to have, especially going into 2023. A lot of families are trying to reset things. We've had a crazy, to say the least go last couple years.

We've had to prioritize just making sure that everything is flowing but I think we're all to kind of taking a step back and hoping, Hey, can I get back on track? Can I reset and pivot?

And I saw this post episode, and I instantly thought, okay, I have to have Andy on, which was talking about part-time work and still having that time with the family. I think this is a conversation a lot of families want to have, but they're not sure how to go about it, right?

Because full-time work that's understandable. Working from home parents, remote work. Got that, but how do you transition to part-time work?

I know for me, being someone who works part-time as a career. I enjoy having the extra time, but let's be real. It, you can't just snap your finger and have it happen. So Absolutely. I'd love to dig into this.

First of all, who came up with this idea? Was this always a part of your financial journey or was this something that as you were paying off the debt, and I know you knocked out that mortgage, you said, okay, let's explore this?

Andy Hill: Yeah, I think for the longest period of time it was just, I was just a full-time employee and I just thought that's what you do. You just have a job and it takes up the majority of your day and your week, and you spend more time with the people at the office than you do with your, actually your actual family or your friends or your loved ones. And that's just what it is.

Then when you started to do some of these wild things like, you know, pay off all of our consumer debt or student loans, our car loan, and then eventually pay off the house and you realize that you're growing the gap between your income and your expenses quite a bit.

What if you just didn't need as much income then because the gap could be closed? So that's something sort of flipped in our heads being like, okay, well if we've got the retirement stuff set by saving and investing through those employer plans for so long, and Roth IRAs and HSAs and things like that. And then we paid off all the debt , what do we need to make a bunch of our money for?

If we've got our retirement set and we definitely need to make money because we gotta pay for our bills, we gotta pay for the food, we gotta pay for the bills. You know, gotta pay for the, this crazy inflation that keeps going up but we don't have to hustle hard forever.

I think there was a few epiphany moments. I think the pandemic was definitely one of them. I finished my full-time career and then I jumped into a life of entrepreneurship and I'm like, I'm gonna take this to the moon as well. You know, like, Hey, I'm gonna make a million dollars.

And then the pandemic happened and it was like, well, why ? Why continue to push, push, push, push, push what's it four? And I think that that great pause that we all got with the pandemic was, was nice. It was sort of a reset to say, ‘What do we want the next 20 years of our lives to look like?'

And you know, God willing, we have 20 years to move forward. Are we utilizing the time we have right now to the best of our ability? So I think that's when part-time work got interesting.

Mm-hmm.

Another reason I think that part-time work not only got interesting but realistic was I really kind of fell for this fire movement thing for a while of like, I wanna push so hard that I don't have to work ever, you know, and it sounds really romantic and cool and, but man, I would say that is difficult for 99% of our world, our country, and our world.

I think the reality of, I like the idea of financial independence and, being able to have more time, but I think if you're able to do some work that you enjoy and have that time freedom. I think that's the best of both worlds, and that's what we're pursuing as a family right now.

I currently have the opportunity to work part-time and my wife went back to school to become an esthetician. So she's seeking out part-time employment right now.

Elle Martinez: That's awesome and I love that. We're like you, we're a CoastFI family and we've had similar conversations and I think it's important to bring that up.

Of course, at the beginning when you're in your financial journey we had the credit card debt. I know when we started off I had to pay off the debt before the wedding, and then we had the car loan student loans. And so there is, and I get this, there's an intensity, right?

Your focus, you're trying to knock that out, but with your financial journey doesn't have to be off on switch, especially with financial independence.

I know it is a very popular topic. Like we retired in X amount of years, we're free. But I think the, like you said, more realistic, but I think also the more flexible and enjoyable path is after you do knock out a lot of that unnecessary debt and you're evaluating, you know, having these conversations along the way, finding, are there more options a and B that I've always heard about or been given and are there ways to explore that?

I think sometimes we get on that path and it almost becomes the extreme, like, before we weren't paying attention to our money, we got into debt, and now we're paying too much attention to the money and the number and chasing it.

And it's like, wait, wait, wait. And you have two kids like I do too. Yes. At at, at some point. It's like, I wanna enjoy the time I have with my kids. They grew up way too fast. So yeah, having that ability to maybe slow down worth work is incredible. And you laid out in that episode the steps and the process that you take.

I definitely recommend, if you haven't already, I'll put it in the show notes. Check out Andy's post an episode. But I wanted to talk about two key steps.

The first one, and you mentioned a bit about this, is growing that gap. I think a lot of families struggle with that. Like, where do I start? How do I one earn more? How do I pay down my expenses. How did you guys first approach it and maybe tell me which one was harder, earning more, or optimizing those expenses.

Andy Hill: Yeah, absolutely. I think at the beginning of our marriage we got together and we were living for today, having a great time, enjoying all that our late twenties had to offer, and having a great time.

We had no gap, you know, so we had $130,000 coming in. I think I was making 60, she was making 70, something like that.

Mm-hmm.

And we were using all of it for fun, which is great. I mean, it was just us and we were enjoying ourselves and we were newlyweds. When we learned we were gonna be parents, that's when something said, okay, we gotta pay attention to things a little bit more because we've got a human coming into the world and we want her to have a great life. So that's when sort of conversations happen around growing that gap, not just everything that's coming in is now going out.

What can we do to save a little bit for our daughters? 5 29. Okay, that gap's gotta be a little bit bigger. What can we do to eliminate our student debt and my car debt?

Okay, the gap's gotta be a little bit bigger for that too. And then save and invest for our retirement so that we don't always have to work or what if we're not able to work or if we get laid off in, in our fifties or sixties.

Those conversations started to happen a little bit more. So we needed to grow the gap. I guess first things first is have a need, have a why, have a have a reason to actually want to grow the gap. But growing that gap between your income and expenses creates a. Power. It creates your ability to do things that you never thought were possible, right?

‘Oh, wow. Didn't think we'd be able to buy that house, but we grew the gap so we have enough saved for it. ‘Or, ‘Hey, I never thought we'd become millionaires by the time we're 40.'

Well, that's because we grew the gap and we're able to invest and, and get things that we needed to get done. So I guess the hardest part, to answer your second question of that, is probably the increasing income part.

I would say based on my nature, I sort of have a…. I don't know, frugal side of me. So it's like, hey, if I need to not go out to dinner as much or cut back on grocery spending or negotiate some bills or whatever. Mm-hmm. , that's kind of like a hunt for me, I think. And so that becomes a little easier for me.

Or sell some stuff around the house on, you know, Craigslist or Facebook marketplace and you know, get a quick thousand bucks. Just like easy things like that, you know? So lowering the expense is a little easier for me. But yeah, the harder part is, is going and earning more, but it's probably the more important and, and more effective part which is tough.

If you're looking to increase the income, the quickest place to start, instead of saying, Hey, I wanna start a whole business and do all these different things, it's like, where are you currently earning money and could you get more money? Like do you have a job where you maybe haven't gotten a raise in a while or do you have the opportunity for overtime at this place?

Or can you get a bonus? Can you get commission? Do you have a client you've been working with for a while that you can say, Hey, I'm interested in raising my rates cuz we've been working together for a while and I believe you enjoy this situation. So those are difficult conversations. Mm-hmm. , but Woo man are they effective when you're looking to grow the gap!

Elle Martinez: Yeah, absolutely. We're working from home, so people like, oh yeah, you would obviously, put that as first piece of advice, but I absolutely agree with you. If you have a nine to five, first of all, it can be either a tool to help you reach your goals faster, build new skills and everything. But yeah, negotiating, seeing if you can get some flexibility. Talk with your manager. Start building up a portfolio. This is something that you have, especially when you're a parent.

It's like, do I have the time and energy, depending on how old your kids are and where you're at professionally, to actually grow something from, the bottom up. I think that's a good piece of advice.

I also love how you talked finding that balance and you found it to be a game to cut on expenses, but I'm curious, one of the benefits I would say with financial independence and freedom is it kind of forces you to prioritize, right?

You're gonna be cutting certain things, but then on the other side, you are going to be defining. , I'm going to keep this expense. I might, minimize it for now because I gotta pay down debt, but these are my must haves.

For you guys, what were those? What was that line for you and Nicole where you said, no, no, we need to put aside some money for

Andy Hill: this?

Yeah, I think there were some difficult moments when we were. You know, working our way up this debt free ladder, mortgage free ladder, Coast Fire Ladder, where I got pretty excited about it cuz I'm a numbers guy and I get really geeked about it and she, she gets equally interested, but as long as I talk about the emotional benefits or the payoff, like why mm-hmm.

why are we doing these things with all the numbers? Like what's the purpose of it? So there was some points in time where we'd be looking at the numbers and I'd be like, well, you know what this cleaning lady. I you know, you're a stay-at-home mom right now and we got this cleaning lady. It just seems like an unnecessary expense to me.

Ooh, that did not go well, Elle. And you know what I didn't do? I didn't really empathize with her situation. She's got two kids. at home that she's taken care of. Maybe, I think there were probably four and two at the time. Like really? I mean, beautiful, beautiful kids. Yeah. But difficult lot of work. Kids are kids. So a treat of somebody coming over and doing a deep clean your house once a month, it's not really that lavish.

And so when I poked at that little piece of an expense that became a very touchy subject for for her, and I'm quickly realized, wow, that's something that's very important to her.

And. . It hasn't come up yet. It hasn't come up again, . But I guess my point is, is that there are things that I really would feel super passionate about if she brought up and said, Hey, you know, that's not that important. Mm-hmm. to me either. And I would defend them. , but I think the point of the conversation is that we need to step in the shoes of our partners, Uhhuh , to say if it's important to them, then it's important to me.

And obviously there are lines you gotta draw as a couple, as you have these conversations. But I would try to go at it with an empathetic heart to say. , it might not be. It might be something that I think is completely silly, but really, you know what? That's not, that's doesn't matter. She thinks it's great or he thinks it's great, and so it's great for me.

So I think, I think having those conversations and a budget and some conversations around sitting down to look at a budget could open up those conversations in a friendly way as opposed to doing it in passing, which I've done many times and it does not go well for our relationship.

If you could dedicate time to specifically talk about these important things about growing the Gap, saying, okay, where are some areas that we could maybe work on so that we could eventually get to a part-time lifestyle, maybe in five, 10 years from now those can happen with some scheduled, specific time.

Where the kids are maybe not hanging on your legs to speak to that. Do you have that problem

Elle Martinez: too, ? Oh, you know it, sister.

Yeah. I mean, and, and that's the thing with family. It's all. Balance and I feel, well, I like that word balance. And at the same time, I think the reality is like we have seasons and cycles when you, you have kids and you're working, but I love that you're saying set aside time for conversations.

Cuz I'm a big believer in that, you know, I love the money date. I know you do budget parties, but kind of taking the tension out.

For me it was making sure it is regular enough. Mm-hmm. that we're having these conversations that it doesn't feel like it's the money talk.

I feel like if you only save it for special occasions, that's when you get a little more stressed out. You feel like you mentioned defending yourself with these expenses, but saying, Hey, you know, this month went well. I was looking ahead. Did you? This expense is coming up, or maybe we can cut back. Having that space, like I love how you guys are open about it saying what you you wanna say, and then yes, sometimes there's gonna be a little pushback on either side and understanding, okay, well maybe we need to go back to the drawing board and find a compromise we're both happy with, or we just keep it as is, but you won't know until you have those conversations.

Kind of breaks me to the next part. So conversations are great. You're making progress, you're getting ready to transition. I feel like this is a different, like another pivot point. Mm-hmm. , how did that conversation go with you and Nicole? Did you do like one at a time or how did you decide to make that, because I know like every family kind of calculates it differently.

Andy Hill: Yeah. We've had varying times in our relationship mm-hmm. when we've gone both full-time workers mm-hmm to ladder down to a single worker and then back up to, to full-time. And then now we're in this position of could we both be two half-time workers? You know?

I think that's how it, it's how it started for us. So we were both working full-time and then we got to a position of financial strength where I was making some good money at my job and we had paid down all of our debt.

It was the point in time when we had our first child. We figured, hey, Nicole could have the ability to work part-time. So that was, that was sort of our step into it.

That was much better than saying both of us are fully retired, or one of us is fully retired or not working anymore. It's a step down and it's a lot easier to get used to, just like all these financial steps that we do. It's easier when it's in small incremental steps as opposed to being like, let's do it all right now cuz it's very stressful.

We went from two full-time workers down to one full-time worker and a part-time worker with Nicole, and then eventually full-time stay-at-home mom. So she did that for about five or six years. So we had one full-time worker. And with that, I'll be honest with you, and I've been honest with her about it too, it was stressful.

It was stressful to own 100% of the financial responsibility. And I did it, you know, I'm like, you know, prideful, I'm working hard. Yeah, I'm gonna grow my income. And but after a few, four, five years, I'm like, And I kind of bottled that up a little bit and I didn't really share it with her how I should have.

And sometimes I would explode, you know, and it would be no good. It would be one of those things where I'm like, well, you should know, but I didn't share anything with her . So that's when things like marriage counseling would, would really help us out because. Our counselor would help us to say, well, Andy, all those things that you're thinking that you conveyed to her, you didn't.

So let's have that forum to be able to have that conversation. So we found that, yeah, 100% of the ownership, the financial responsibility is tough, even if you're making good money.

Honestly, on her end, 100% of the, of the, of the parenting or the, the stay-at-home mom duties is also very stressful.

We found a little balance after that act where I went down to leaving my corporate full-time job and being a part-time stay-at-home dad at a part-time business owner and Now we are both in that train. She's decided to go back to school and learn a new trade because after finishing the stay at home mom thing, she went back to advertising and it was like, this is not for me either.

So now she's gone back to school to learn to be an esthetician, which is somebody does like facials and things like that, and she loves it. Yeah. So now she's seeking out part-time employment.

So that'll be two part-time workers, which will make one full-time worker together, which is great because it's like, okay, we are one collective here as a family.

So we've gone essentially from two full-time workers down to now one full-time worker over the 12 years of our marriage because we've done these things to grow the gap and have some, yeah, financial strength. We're not saving as much as we used to at all, but because we're not saving as much as we used to, we now have the ability to own more of our time.

Elle Martinez: Yeah, absolutely. I love this because you, you're kind of carving out your own. You're finding, this is where I'm happy. This is the kind of mix as you could say, with, professional paid work, taking care of the kids, spending time with them.

She's going back to school and I love that she went back to work, realized it's not for her.

Yeah. And then she said, okay, let me find a different path. And you guys were able to work as a family and create a plan. And I think that's flexibility is what a lot of families are looking for. And while financial independence, a lot of stores might be shared about, oh, we retired in, you know, 10 years, or we did this crazy side hustle and made six figures.

I think the bigger takeaway are the stories where families are creating meaningful and memorable, lives for themselves, however that looks for them.

Maybe you do wanna travel in an RV with your kids, or maybe you just wanna stay put and be next to your family, right? And have that network.

There's so many different flavors to fry and I sometimes taking the word independence and just put freedom, just having some more freedom, whether that's money, but more importantly, in the end time, To spend with whoever or whatever you wanted do.

Andy Hill: Yeah, that's a great point. And I think the funny thing, and I think I'm part of the problem too is it's hard to quantify what we're describing right now. So it's difficult to share and draw people in because I think as humans, we really like to see something that you can measure at least I do. You know, where it's like, Paid off that much or saved that much by X age.

It's something that we could quantify. You know, quantifying time ownership and quality time with family and quantifying happiness. That's a lot harder to do because it's personal and there's not a lot of numbers associated with it.

So I think the conversation we're having right now is a little bit more difficult to quantify. And therefore people are like, well, if it's not a $5 million net worth, what are you doing? What, why are you even, why are you working part-time? You could make, make making more money. It's like, hmm. It's hard to quantify .

Elle Martinez: Yeah, exactly. Oh my goodness. I know we just scratch the surface, Andy and I would love to chat with you some more but for those that are listening if you haven't already subscribed to Andy's Podcast, marriage, kids and Money, it is a holistic approach. It's not just, retiring and becoming financially independent.

It's enjoying the journey as well.

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